Why do you have to be like this?

I’m looking for resonance. Something that seems to get lost on me. The feeling that I need something from myself keeps pulling on me. I want to hear what my body has to tell me. But the noise of the daily commotion is all the noise I’m able to hear.

I want to be present but at the same time I want to disappear. There always seems to be something that’s off. How would my life be without all of my issues? Boring most likely, but also less stressful. Is difficulty just part of existence? For now it seems that I’m not able to be satisfied. So I’ll just continue living.