I Will Carry This Stone

Shortly after my mother passed away, I found an envelope marked “Scotland 1988”. Inside were photographs of my mom and grandparents on holiday. Memories of the hikes and journeys I had shared with her came flooding back, even though I had never been to Scotland. As I looked at memories I had never lived, she briefly came back to life.

To what extent is she really gone? Is there life after loss? And how do I convey the absence of someone who remains so tangibly present? With these questions in mind, I set off for Scotland in search of an understanding that my mother would no longer be there, but what I found instead was a different way of coping with loss than the one we are so often taught. Grief, is not a burden to be set aside, but a stone to be carried with pride.